Sweet spot

Been sick lately. Usually my body has no problem defending itself from light stuff like coughs and colds. My son got a cold and I managed to help his body beat it within a day or two. Full out assault with natural medicines to help his little body fight it off before it got a good hold of him. He started to cough this horrible barking type of cough about a week ago. The miracle cure was apple cider vinegar, which I gave to him warm with honey and organic apple juice. Luckily his body had no problem with it (I get burning in my belly if it take it too many days in a row)…and it kicked the crap out of the cough. I supplemented it with a bit of colloidal silver and a few doses of Vitamin C. Suffice to say that it was the perfect amounts at the perfect time and his body booted out what threatened to be a long and annoying illness (maybe would have lasted a week or two).

Right….so in the process I got sick. I took lots and lots of stuff including many doses of oil of oregano under my tongue – fun to see how long I can leave 3-4 drops there before I start crying in pain…..I’d explain the values of all these things but if anybody reading this really wants to find out I suggest doing the research on your own – I’m too lazy to do the links tonight. Now usually my body doesn’t get sick…at least it hasn’t in the past year or so since I started working on my mental and physical health. This time I’ve been slowly losing the battle.  The symptoms are still very light, but gaining a bit of ground – been almost a week-long battle in my body and I am still only barely sick. Tonight I had a moment of weakness which will surely cost me dearly in the battle, but it was just so enjoyable that i don’t care…it looked something like this:

Breakthrough

The very best part of a struggle or difficult period is the moment that the resistance gives way and we have that magical breakthrough.   In one instant all the work comes to fruition and we are rewarded with a wonderful release.   The process is akin to reaching orgasm during sex – with one key difference.  With sex we truly enjoy the entire process because it feels great the entire time.  So why don’t we enjoy our struggles in life?

We seem to be very superficial and weak creatures at first glance.  Short-term memory driven pleasure seekers that cry at the smallest scratch.  But when we are truly tested, we often rise to the occasion and sparkle with tremendous depth and passion.  Once through….we all too often return back to the shallow realm of waiting for highs or lows to snap us back into the present moment.

First let me talk about the risks involved with massive breakthroughs.  The biggest and most obvious risk is to sit back and spend too much time feeling proud of ourselves for our achievement.   While I definitely support the idea of reward and nurturing confidence, we run the risk of falling into arrogance if we spend too much time in that space.   We quickly moves from the realm of not knowing the answer to thinking that we know many if not all of the answers.  It seems to be a natural process for a mind which favours simplicity.  Our minds seem to take every experience and catalogue it so that it can be applied to any future scenarios.  The problem of course is that the mind rarely if ever accounts for novelty.  This means that when a similar (but distinct) obstacle arises in our lives…we immediately apply the methods that got us through the last…but maybe it backfires or fails.   Now…if you have back-up program 175B then it should kick in and tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong or nothing to fear in making mistakes…..

If you do not, then your mind must regroup and come up with a novel way to address a novel problem.  I believe that with enough life experience and learning, it is possible to reach a place of pure novelty creation  – kind of like being in sync with the novelty which surrounds us constantly.  Imagine a place where the struggle is just as pleasurable and novel and fun as the breakthrough.

Starts and finishes

I have been having very intense experiences lately. It’s kind of hard for me to tell if it has to do with premonition or not, but I haven’t felt anything along these lines in about 13 years. Much thought about life and death – been cause for much anxiety. It has all made me realize just how far I really am from being at peace with my own eventual end. In fact, I rather fear that place. The thought makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin – it brings me to a place that is so hyper-rational that I essentially lose touch with my own body and lose myself in the world of ego paranoia. Because let’s be honest about something – if there is nothing after we die (not as we know ‘something’)…then it matters very little what I feel about it when the moment comes. Not only is worry useless, but the real kicker is the concern that one specific part of us has for something which it will likely never experience – it’s own annihilation.

My personal belief is one that has something enduring past the moment of death, just not anything related to our ego, or our own impression and understanding of ourselves. I believe that everything which we understand to be ourselves, that is, all that I have as a mental concept when I say the word “me” disappears. Perhaps the very core of my life essence, that same thing that makes all creatures on this planet look out from their center and BE outwardly and inwardly….that perhaps makes the journey, but there exists no identity attached to it. This is my belief. Given that this is the way that I see things, it makes that specific part of me quite anxious at the thought. Nothing on this planet wants to end. I mean that – absolutely nothing. Not a virus, not a bacteria, not an ant, not a plant, not a dog, not your brother or your grandmother or your son or even you. This is why everything struggles in the face of its own demise. This is why you need to take antibiotics for the full seven days, hehe. I’m certain that once we have the science to show us – we will learn that everything has some sort of consciousness of itself, and fights for its survival without really knowing why or for what…just that it wants to be.

One last thing. I have seen one thing. Life gets more powerful as death circles. The moments that I have had in this lifetime (not many) that have had me at that precipice have been the ones when I clearly felt more alive than ever. As if the two (life and death) crystallize one another…..Jesus Christ said that in order to be reborn into this world, one must die first – I’m not sure that people (myself included) realize what this means. I do not see a difference between the death of the ego and physical death because the experience would undoubtedly be the same for the part of us which worries about it.

Supersonic electronic

OK, even if this is a spoof, I’m loving it right now.

Lupo the Butcher

I remember when this just came out…

Critique

This post and the last one have been in my head for a couple of days now – only getting to them tonight.  I wanted to blog about another interesting theory regarding criticizing people.  It seems to me that in order to criticize a person, you assume one of two things:

1) They are in fact incapable of doing whatever properly – or more specifically incapable of doing whatever to your satisfaction.

2) They are not doing their best.

The second thought really fascinates me.  It comes into play for lots of people when they criticize people (and/or their actions) and get very passionate about it.  I have two major issues with this reasoning.  The first is how can a person honestly know where another person is at.  The second is that people in glass houses sure do throw lots of rocks.

It’s like back-seat drivers who live in the world of fantasy, the world of imagination.  What is criticizing and blaming, other than trying to put someone else down?  Think politics, think our childhoods (our horrible parents), think high school, think our neighbours, think our children, think everyone else but me.  I think that criticizing is usually a sort of masturbatory mental game isolating one specific aspect of a little corner of life and showing how much better we are at it than whomever we are criticizing.
It’s essentially a waste of time unless somebody outright asks us to do it some constructive way for them – or if they work for us, at which point they just have to do things our way.

But to get back to my point…it’s that imaginary moment in our heads, when we think about the person doing or saying something or other.  Our caricature of them is usually laughable.  We  need to create a dramatically exaggerated thought or image so that we can even believe our own storytelling.  It’s a really good thing to keep in mind when we get upset with another person – to try and maintain something real in the mental game, it will usually protect us from saying nonsense (or worse, actually believing nonsense).

Favours

It’s funny to wonder sometimes whether someone is asking for you to do them a favour – or whether they are requesting that you do something specifically the way that they want you to do it.  This comes up lots in relationships.  “Can you do this for me?”  ….   “No, no, no, you have to…”   “Oh jeez, was it so difficult to…”

It ends up being passive aggressive sometimes when people ask for favours when they do not allow you to do it as you see fit.   If I am to ask a favour of somebody, then they are in fact doing something for me which they have no obligation to do – I should just say”Thank you.”

Short one

My son was explaining to me in tremendous detail (show included)  how his toy cars were crashing into each other and how they flew through the air.  I smiled to myself because he just went on and on and really it was just nonsense that he was yapping about.  I also realized that maybe someone else watching would become bored almost instantly – for me it was the greatest show on earth.   After the cars, he was showing off how he could wrap his arm around his head and hold his ear,  AND dance at the same time.  He asked me if I could do such a feat…..

Process enacted

Creative work with polaroids.

Contact Juggling

If I weren’t so lazy, I’d learn how to do this: